"For some reason, people never check th spines of books like this. Maybe it's because it's hard to open there... I just want you to know no matter what, I'm never going to be able to say I don't love you. There is nothing in the world that could cause it. I'm sorry, but [something illegible] how it is."
We don't talk anymore.
haha
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"You're right, I will reply. I'm going to tell you this, but it's not because I want you to feel sorry for me. I know you wouldn't anyway.
I've spent this last week thinking about it. I cried for 7 days straight, didn't go to school for three days, and thought about it to the point the only thing I could do was sleep, eat and watch mindless television. I made myself sick.
I want to give everything you gave me back because I don't deserve it. I'm not going to try to justify this and think you're a bad person. Because you're not at all. I'm the terrible one.
The only reason I wanted to see you is because I'm worried that I might do something really stupid or try to hurt myself.
I won't get angry at you.
I'm glad you are standing up for yourself.
I'm mortified that it has to come to this, but I KNOW I deserve everything.
At one point I was determined just to drive out to your house but I knew you weren't home/didn't want to see me.
I've realized what i've done and I don't want to live with it."
"This is the last thing I have to say. And after this we can end it. You won't believe me because you don't trust me but it's how I feel. It's how I've always felt but I was too scared or too stupid or too immature to realize it. I'm not trying to pull you back to me or anything. I just need to tell you.
You've said it to me, you're wrote it in the journal you gave me. And I'm not saying it just to say it back. I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME. I hope you believe it even if you don't care anymore. I wanted more than anything to say this to your face but you're not going to allow me the chance.
I love you, and I always will.
And that's the note I want to end it on.
No more replies. I will leave you alone."
wonder why.
i couldn't even begin to guess.
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